The Pest Who Wouldn't Leave
by Orange Ratchet
Summary: Sid is just preparing for a normal day, when all of a sudden, a talking brown dog just arrives, wanting Sid to be his new master. Will Sid manage to get the dog out of here, or will Charlie Dog be able to win over Sid?


Here's the next Looney Tunes short crossover, which I hope gets to be a bit of an ongoing thing! Well, anyway, enjoy!

* * *

 **ORANGE RATCHET PRESENTS...**

 **AN ORANGE MELODIES FIC**

 **THE PEST WHO WOULDN'T LEAVE**

 **Starring Charlie Dog**

 **With guest stars the cast of Hey Arnold!**

 **Inspired by the Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies shorts**

 **Written by Orange Ratchet**

* * *

Somewhere in the city, a brown dog was looking around at the assortment of people walking by him. The brown dog, known as Charlie Dog, started to widen his eyes to try and get the attention of assorted humans... but no luck.

Charlie Dog sighed as he sat down. "Can you believe it? Even after moving from New York to Cali-for-nye-A, I still have trouble getting a master of my own..."

Charlie Dog rolled his eyes as he laid himself down and got comfortable. "Well... whilst I'm here... I might as well see the neighborhood..."

Charlie Dog hummed a little song as he decided to walk around the city streets.

* * *

Meanwhile, the class bell for PS 118 just rang as classes were dismissed, everyone was running out as they were talking in an excited tone, the group of Arnold, Gerald, Sid, Stinky and Harold were running outside.

"Man, what an exciting afternoon!" Gerald laughed.

"Yeah, can you believe Mr. Simmons taught us a lot about the history of the Gold Rush?" Harold said. "I can imagine what life in the Gold Mines are like."

"Yeah..." Arnold said. "Who knew there was a lot of gold on our side back then..."

"Say fellers, you reckon there's still gold around here?" Stinky said.

"I doubt it." Arnold said as the boys kept walking.

"But if there was still gold around these parts, you think we can gather more riches!" Harold said, eyes widening in delight.

Arnold sighed. "You're all going to dig for gold somewhere, despite what I have to say, don't you?"

Harold, Stinky, Sid and Gerald just nodded. Arnold sighed. "All right, I'm in. But if we're to dig anywhere... where should we dig?"

"Hmmm..." Gerald paused. "How about the old train stations? Remember the Haunted Train experience?"

"Oh, definitely..." Arnold said...as he realized Harold, Stinky and Sid stood in confusion. "Oh, right, you three weren't there for that."

"Anyway, that'll be a delight!" Sid smiled. "I can gather a few things for our expedition!"

"It's agreed then!" Harold said. "We'll meet after dinner!"

The five nodded as they went their separate ways.

* * *

"Sheesh, what a busy place..." Charlie said as he went down a street. "Luckily, this side ain't as busy here..."

Charlie then heard distant humming from nearby. Charlie turned in interest to see Sid was humming 'I'm in the Money'. Charlie smirked to himself. "Ah... kids love dogs... and he seems to be the type... watch me win him over."

Charlie started following Sid for a bit as Sid continued humming.

Sid was excited, he couldn't wait to join his friends in their gold rush adventure, even if they didn't find gold, which Sid hoped he did, at least they had fun.

It was then Sid stopped. He realized he was being followed... maybe it was his paranoia talking. He kept walking and... he thought he heard another set of footsteps behind him. He stopped as the set of footsteps stopped. He must have been hearing things. Sid continued walking until... he knew he heard them. He turned around and...

...saw Charlie sitting, giving soulful eyes.

"Oh... it's just a dog." Sid sighed in relief, then frowned. "Go on, shoo. Scat! I'm trying to get home here..."

Sid then started going along... but he looked back and saw the dog continuing to follow him. Sid was a little creeped out by this as he kept running, the dog ran too... eventually, until Sid reached his house and ran inside as he took a deep breath.

Sid sighed in relief. Maybe the dog just got bored and left...

Sid then heard a knock on the door. Sid, in confusion, opened the door... shocked to find the dog was still here... but he was now standing on his hind legs and actually TALKING to him.

"Listen chum, you ain't got no dog, and I ain't got no master." Charlie explained. "So how's about I make youse a pro-pe-sis-tion? You let me stay here, and I'll be your lovable pet."

Sid blinked as he shook his head. "Did you- no, no way, dogs can't talk. They-"

"Oh, au contraire, my friend. I am but of a rare speaking dog." Charlie said as he sat Sid down. "I mean, not only do you get a nice, talking dog, you get all breeds of dog into one! I'm fifty percent beagle..." Charlie pulled out a little horn and started making music. "...fifty percent sheepdog..." Charlie then spun around as he was wearing a sheep costume. "...fifty percent bulldog..." Charlie then spun around as he put some horns on himself and snorted like a bull. "...fifty percent setter..." Charlie then sat down and pulled out a pipe. "...eh, Irish setter... fifty percent watchdog..." Charlie pulled out a watch. "...fifty percent spitz..." Charlie then spat a nearby distance. "...fifty percent pointer."

Charlie then pointed everywhere. "There it is! There it is! There it is!"

Sid just blinked as Charlie smirked smugly. "But mostly, I'm all golden retriever."

"You are not a golden retriever!" Sid glared.

"I ain't?" Charlie asked.

"No." Sid frowned.

"Look buddy, if you doubt my word, find me some gold, and I'll retrieve it for you." Charlie frowned.

"Gold? Uh..." Sid paused.

"Have you got gold?" Charlie raised an eyebrow.

"No, bu-" Sid started.

"Know where there MIGHT be some gold?" Charlie said, picking his teeth with a toothpick.

"No, bu-" Sid paused.

"Then shaddup!" Charlie said, still picking his teeth.

Sid growled in anger.

"Well, what do you say, huh, chum? You want a dog? Deal or no deal?" Charlie smiled.

Sid grabbed Charlie and threw him out the door. "No deal!"

Sid was about to slam the door in Charlie's face, but Charlie ran right back in. "Look, kid, maybe we got off on the wrong side of the track here. So how about this? I can do tricks."

"Oh, and talking isn't a good trick?" Sid rolled his eyes.

Charlie smiled as he said, "Watch me act like a bunny."

Charlie then started hopping around like a bunny. "Hippity, hoppity, hoppity, hop."

Sid smirked as he opened the door. "Can you do an impression of someone jumping out of a springboard straight out?"

"Can I?" Charlie said in excitement. "Watch this!"

Charlie then started springing out the door... as Sid slammed the door.

* * *

Sid was up in his room, packing his backpack up for the gold rush... when he heard the window open. Sid yelped as he saw Charlie jumping inside. "You again?"

"Let's look at it another way, kid." Charlie said as he sat down on Sid's bed. "Just imagine, will you, you're sleeping on your bed, your feet start to get a little chilly. Well, what better way to warm your feet than your dog? I'd be sprawled out alongside your bed while your little feet touch my warm fur."

"And at the same time have my bed infested with fleas. No thank you." Sid glared as he grabbed Charlie. "Get out of here!"

Sid then threw Charlie out of the window and closed it up.

Sid looked out the window again to see Charlie waving hello, as he yelled, "Looking for something, bub?"

Sid growled as he decided to make a call on his phone. "Hello, Arnold? I know I usually say a lot of crazy things, but this one, you have to believe me on. I can't explain, just come over here!"

* * *

Charlie was sitting like an innocent dog as Sid was pointing right to him, Arnold just blinking, not amused. Arnold frowned as he said, "I give up, Sid. What am I seeing?"

"This dog can talk, okay?" Sid asked. "He's been trying to get inside my house, wanting me to be his owner! Help!"

Arnold just stared at Sid, unamused. "Sid, I tolerated most of your crazy ideas before, but a dog that can talk and is forcing you to be his owner? That's too crazy, even for me."

"No, Arnold, come on!" Sid said as he turned to Charlie. "Come on, you, talk! Just tell me what you told me!"

Arnold sighed as he walked off. "You're on your own, Sid!"

"Arnold!" Sid begged.

"Good-BYE, Sid!" Arnold sighed as he walked off.

Sid just stared in shock as he couldn't believe it. Sid then turned to the dog and frowned. "Hey! Come on, what is wrong with you?"

Charlie sighed as he stood up. "I'm sorry... it's just... I didn't want to be turned in to the authorities."

"Authorities?" Sid raised an eyebrow.

"You see, kid..." Charlie said as he started to whisper to him. Sid gasped.

"No way. No... way..." Sid said as Charlie nodded. "I had no idea. My mind... is blown! I had no idea you were actually a government agent whose mind got switched with a dog's! If you just said that, I'd have thought differently! Of course you can stay!"

"Really?" Charlie said as his eyes widened.

"Sure!" Sid smiled. "In fact, I'll do you one even better. I'll even give you a nice little tent to sleep in."

"A tent? Oh, goodie! I get to sleep in a tent, I get to sleep in a tent!" Charlie said in excitement as Charlie followed Sid inside.

* * *

"Now, don't go away!" Sid said as he closed the door.

Sid smiled as he sighed. "Man, an actual government agent in my house, I never would have thou-"

Sid then heard the chuckles of Charlie from the other side of his room.

"What a dope! Pulling the old 'government agent' trick was easier than I thought!" Sid overheard Charlie say. "Who knew I had such good persuasion skills?"

Sid frowned as he looked furious. Sid then turned to the tent he was making... and gave a huge smirk.

* * *

Charlie hummed a bit as Sid peeked out the door. "Okay, come on in. Your tent is ready."

"Oh goodie, goodie!" Charlie said as he walked in, seeing the tent set up in his room as Charlie got in and got comfortable. "I want a glass of water, I want a cookie, and I want a story!"

All of a sudden, Sid pulled the tent up from under Charlie to reveal Charlie was inside a box as Sid then slammed the lid on the box and nailed it down. Sid paused. "Ah, I can't let that mutt suffer..."

Sid smirked as he used a handle driller to drill in a couple holes. "There, air holes to breath!"

Sid then slammed a sticker saying 'To Texas' as he started to run off with the large package in hand.

* * *

Sid then ran outside with the package near the post office as he dropped the package off. Sid sighed in relief as he started to go back to his home, hopefully putting behind the business of the dog once and for all.

A moment later, Charlie pushed the box open as he paused. "Hmmm... persistent little fellow, isn't he?"

Charlie then looked down at the label that said 'To Texas', and paused. "Hmmm... now where to find a cowboy costume at this hour..."

Charlie then spotted Helga and Phoebe walking past him as Helga put down a bag and sighed. "Let's rest here a minute, Pheebs, I need to catch my breath."

"Resting." Phoebe smiled as she sat next to Helga.

"Man, I can't believe you convinced me to go to a Western rodeo with your parents tomorrow." Helga sighed. "You have any idea how many cowboy clothes I had to go through?"

Charlie perked as he quickly grabbed the bag without Helga and Phoebe looking as he gathered the box and started running on his way.

"Sorry, Helga, but it is Cowboy/Cowgirl Costume Night. How could we resist?" Phoebe shrugged.

"I didn't even think you were into rodeos." Helga frowned.

"I'm not, but my parents got the tickets, and we decided to go, and I knew you would be a little interested..." Phoebe said.

"Eh... I guess..." Helga sighed as she reached for her bag... only to find it missing. "Hey... where's my bag?"

* * *

Back with Sid, Sid sighed in relief as he managed to get back home. At least his parents aren't home yet...

Sid opened the door... then screamed in shock as he saw Charlie wearing a cowboy outfit, with the box labeled with different places he 'presumably' been to, waiting nearby inside.

"Well, howdy there, pardner!" Charlie said in a Texan accent. "Oh, the places Ah've been and the things Ah've seen! Watch this!"

Charlie then swung a rope around and tied Sid around. "Ah learned this trick when Ah visited an old rodeo!"

Charlie then spun Sid around as Sid was pushed right back out the door as Charlie slammed it.

Charlie was taking off his costume when the phone rang. Charlie then picked up the phone as he said, "Eh-yeeees?"

"Sid? Honey, is that you?" Sid's mom said.

"Of course, it's your darling little boy!" Charlie smiled. "You old bag!"

"What? Young man, that is rude! Drop that ridiculous accent this instant!" Sid's mom frowned through the phone.

"Oh yeah, you can't tell me what to do, old bag!" Charlie frowned.

"I was just calling to tell you we're at Slausen's for dinner tonight, but if you're going to be rude, I am going to give you a huge punishment!" Sid's mom said.

"Oh yeah! Well, look, toots, I'll save you the trouble and I'll come to you! Then we'll see how you like it, old bag!" Charlie said as he hung up the phone.

* * *

Outside, Sid was banging on the door, growling as he yelled, "Let me in, let me in!"

Charlie then opened the door as he coughed, "Eh, kid, your parents just called. They wanted to meet you over at Slausen's for dinner."

"They do?" Sid smiled. "Oh, wow, this is a treat! I'll come right over!"

Sid then started to run over as Charlie paused. "Hmmm... this is going to be interesting..."

* * *

A moment later, Charlie was sitting down at the chair as he turned the TV on. "I wonder what the news is up to..."

"And in breaking news, outside Slausen's, a mother and father are punishing a little kid with a big nose by pulling on his ear and making him sit at the table as they slap his face every three seconds! We go to the source!" A news reporter says.

"He called me an old bag. That is very rude of my son!" Charlie watched Sid's mom explain.

"But Mom!" Sid begged.

"No buts, young man! And furthermore, you're grounded!" Sid's mom glared.

"Hmmm... must be a slow news day..." Charlie said, flipping the channel. "What else is on?"

* * *

After about a half-hour, Sid walked inside, beaten and looking down as Charlie looked at Sid.

Sid groaned as he sighed. "Okay, fine, I give up. I know when I'm licked. You can be my dog."

Charlie frowned as he said, "Actually, looking around at your place... I don't think I like it here after all. I mean, you keep getting grounded all the time, and getting punished by your parents, plus this place you live in... it's a dump! What kind of animal would even LIVE in this dump of a mess?"

Charlie then got up as he was about to leave. "No offense, but I got my health to look out for. No hard feelings..."

"Oh no... you're staying!" Sid growled as he was starting to cackle like crazy.

"Uh-oh..." Charlie said as he saw Sid's face going into an angry tone. "Well, I know when I've overstayed my welcome. I love to stay around, but I just remembered I have to catch a train!"

"You get back here, you mutt!" Sid yelled as Charlie ran out the door, with Sid giving chase.

"HELP!" Charlie yelled as Sid started chasing him up the streets. "Is there a medic in the house? Is there a medic in the house?!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Arnold was getting out of the boarding house when he saw Sid chasing after a worried pooch, Sid being angry.

Arnold blinked in confusion as he shook his head. "I will never know what is going on in Sid's mind..."

* * *

 **Orange Ratchet Story**

 **"That's All, Folks!"**

 **An Orange-Ratchet Fanfiction**

* * *

And that's the end of this little Looney Tunes/Hey Arnold crossover! I hope you all enjoyed this one-shot. Thank you all for reading, and have a great day!


End file.
